How to interact with single people…
A manual about single people for those who are not
There are simple rules/guidelines/nuggets of wisdom that each non-single person must adhere to in order to prevent those that are single or re-single from going insane. I speak for all single people when I say we love you. We are happy for you non-singlers. But please…take heed…
note: This may come across, at times, as being bitter. I’m not…yet
1. We don’t mind being set up. In fact, even though we might complain about it, we normally enjoy it. But before setting 2 people up on a very awkward first date – please get to know us better. I’d be ok if I never had conversations like “Oh – so you’re a 22 year old semi-professional skateboarder to who enjoys slasher movies” or “I’ve never knitted boots for cats before. But you’re in your mid-to-late 30s, so you have all the experience in what’s fun” ever again. It’s starting to feel like y’all either hate us or just enjoy laughing at the stories we single folk tell.
2. Just because we are single – that doesn’t mean every holiday, weekend, or evening is free to watch your kids, pets, etc. We would like to have a life – which is tough to do if we are constantly babysitting. If you start out a sentence with “it seems like we are always calling you” – well, you probably are, then.
3. Engaged couples – congrats on the engagement. Now shut up about the wedding 
. We will be there and support you through the big day. We are truly thrilled for you. But we (singles) don’t want to hear about your honeymoon plans, the trouble with the florist, or that you went over your parent’s budget and now your dress won’t be hand stitched by a North Korean child slave.
4. If you are lucky enough to have kids – please know that our schedules don’t revolve around kids yet. So a sitter is the best route. And if you can’t detach from your kid for a few hours and feel that you HAVE to bring them to our game night, concert, dinner, etc– staying at home might be the best option. We hope to have kids someday, as well. But we want to hang out with YOU. If the whole time you are changing diapers and talking about your kid’s sleeping habits, then that defeats the purpose of us hanging out. I love kids, personally. But getting away for time with just adults (and I call myself an adult only because the state of Tennessee does) is needed for you and desired by us.
5. Please know that as single people…we are in no rush to make plans days, or even hours, ahead of time. If you can make it to the random/spontaneous gathering – awesome. If you can’t – we will catch ya next time. You were single once. Quit acting like if you don’t get a Google Calendar invite – there is no humanly way possible you could ever attend anything.
6. Stop living vicariously through our dating lives. We will come to you when there is something to tell or talk about. You do realize you are basically gossiping about us…right to our face (and normally behind our backs, as well).
7. Just because you hit the “significant other” lottery, doesn’t make you a love guru. Most of you have no game and just got lucky. Thank God you found someone, and quit acting like you have the best advice ever. We remember all of your epic dating fails. You are to being a love guru what “Love Guru” was to good movies…
8. Never ask us the question “So how come you’re not married/engaged or even dating someone?” I may have just broken up with someone. Or maybe I seem to be surrounded by crazy people so I’m waiting for the next Match.com free weekend to see how the single people in Denver, Baltimore or Tampa shape up. (never tried it – but the people on the commercials seem happy).
9. Don’t act like single-ness is a disease. It’s not. We can still hang out. Even though your significant other may wish at times they were still single, they are always happiest when they get home. So let them out and breath fresh air every once in a while.
10. Never…ever…use the word Singles when you are trying to gather a group of singles. Community, Church, whatever – call it something else….anything else!
11. At the end of the day – we want what you have. Settled down, married, maybe kids. Even those single guys in their 40s/50s rocking Ed Hardy shirts and Diesel jeans – claiming to be “living the dream” – they have just found being a tool is easier than committing. So know that we are watching. Every time we see a friend get hurt by a spouse – it sets back our faith in marriage. I’m only 28 – and have already had countless classmates/friends get divorced for a myriad of reasons. The best advice you can ever give us is your actions. Talk is cheap.
On a much lighter note…”Single Ladies” has caused us guys much headache. It actually is a great song. But they had some fun with it on SNL – watch it here or check it out below.
